Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Reasons why I don't believe he crashed:

1. Cos he is a big liar
2. His friend said the car somersaulted. When I asked him later if the car somersaulted, he said no. They could not even tell a consistent lie.
3. Intially, he said his car was badly was badly damaged, later his friend said the car was really damaged. The next day he backpedalled, said there was just a dent in the back bumper. (I guess he had consulted his friend by then. and the must have realised that they dint have a damaged car of the same make, colour etc. to show).
4. They both said he had a cut on his head. According to his friend, the cut was very deep, he lost a lot of blood and passed out. When he was 'discharged from the hospital' the next day, I asked if his head was bandaged or something and he said no. How does a person with a very deep wound go to a hospital and they still leave it open. or is there a new technology i dont know about. abi he went to a quack doctor? na wa o!
5. If the car wasnt badly damaged as they later claimed, why dint he just drive away, why did he wait for his friend to come to his rescue?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

D-R-A-M-A!!!


Friday night was filled with drama. I dont even know where to start......
Ok, after a long day at work, i decided to go out for a drink with a colleague before going home. Somewhere in the middle of the outing, my phone rings and it HIM. o, i forgot to tell u this. i sent him a text in the morning telling him to take a walk (oh dear! i have a lot of explaining to do or else u'll be lost but i have to go on cos this gist is at the tip of my tongue). Ms. Teva, u have been asking me to kick his ass abi? well i finally did.

so he called to find out what my text meant and i told him that it meant exactly what it said. there was a lot of talking, arguing and all. at a point i had to excuse myself from my table and go outside. anyway, he asked where i was and i said i was OUT.
"out where?", he asked.
"none of your business", was my reply.
"You are moving on quite fast" (I had told him earlier in our conversation that i wanted to move on with my life)
he said he was on his way to my house and I said that's too bad cos I wasnt about to go home then.
He asked if he could come and meet me and drop me at home. i told him i dint trek to where i was and that he wasnt the only car owner in Lagos.
we argued some more, he begged me togive him another chance and i said no cos i already gave him like a zillion chances and he blew them all. At the end he said, that i may have decided to let go but he WONT let go. I was like whatever, but i was thinking "that's scary..."
Next thing he said he was going to be in front of my house waiting for me.
i took my time, and when i entered my street, his car was unmistakably parked in front of my gate!!! i almost freaked out. I expected him to be there cos he is crazy but i was really hoping he would be normal for once. anyway, we drive down to the end of the stree to make a turn and i call the househelp to open the gat and stand there. so as soon as i got down from the car, i gave HIM a quick wave and dashed into the house. he was sitting in the car, confident that i would stop and at least say hello. he must have been in shock. I understand he waited out there for long. i guess he thought i was going to come out (maybe i just went to drop something).
After he waited for a while, he called me and asked if iwasnt going to come out. i said NO. and he starts going on and on about how i embarrassed him in front of my househelp. i asked if if he dint think he had bigger problems than his wounded pride? anyway, he finally decides to go.
my colleague calls to find out how i was doing and while we were talking, he started calling me. he must have called about 10 times before i finally decided to take his call. and then he was ranting, why didnt i take his call, that i should have known it was something serious cos he called me several times (at this point i asked hime about all the times in the past i would call him several times and he wouldnt pick). he said he had an accident. i asked him where he was and he said Third Mainland Bridge!!!
unfortunately, there was nothing i could do for him cos this was at about 11.30p.m
he said he already called his friends and they were coming to get him. according to him, all he had was a cut on his head, the car wasnt seriously damaged.
so i called like 30-45 mins later and he dint pick. i kpet callin and his friend picked and said he was at the hospital but he couldnt talk cos he had passed out.
somewhere along the line i started to doubt the whole story (reasons in another blog). anyway, i wen to bed and at about 2 his call woke me up. he started to beg. he begged until he ranout of airtime and the next day as early as 6am or so he had sent for credit and he resumed his begging. he said all sorts. at a point, he was like 'i guess R.Kelly was right.....when a woman's fed up'
i had to struggle to keep myself from laughing. anyway, he said a lot, i just kept listening. i had a training on saturday morning so i had to dismiss him or i would have been late (i just made it on time anyway cos all the time i should have used in getting ready was spent listing to rubbish).
i told him i had made up my mind and i wasn't going back.

I need to get back to work now. more stories later!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Phobias

  • Papaphobia—fear of the pope.
  • Scorodophobia—fear of garlic.
  • Pteronophobia—fear of being tickled with feathers.
  • Ranidaphobia—fear of frogs.
  • Philematophobia—fear of kissing.
  • Aulophobia—fear of flutes.
  • Ostraconophobia—fear of shellfish.
  • Graphophobia—fear of handwriting.
  • Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia—fear of long words (seriously).
  • Blennophobia—fear of slime.
  • Gerontophobia—fear of old people.
  • Peladophobia—fear of bald people.
  • Geropeladophobia—fear of old, bald people.
  • Phobophobia—fear of developing a fear.
  • Didaskaleinophobia - fear of going to school—though you’d have to go if you want to pronounce it.
  • Barophobia is the fear of gravity, which can be very inconvenient if you live on a planet.
Lines

Here are some lines I got from different books. I decided to pu them down so i can always refer to them cos I find them very useful.


  • something about knowing you are loved and treasured translates into confidence and success.
  • it is impossible to control the opinions of others.
  • Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Test Result: My kind of guy


Got this result from one of those tickle tests. of course thats not all about my kind of guy. it' s just one of the many qualities i like:


You must be havin' a laugh! You go for the clown type!

Laughter is the way to your heart. A man with a fab sense of humour is definitely the one for you! You want a Clown, someone who can laugh at himself and make you laugh, too. There's nothing more tedious than a man who takes himself too seriously. You know that if a chap is silly, he's generally self-confident and secure. Your man is a people magnet and everyone's favourite friend. There's never a dull moment with your clown nearby. You crave excitement and a bit of a laugh, and your clown enhances those things in your life. You probably think life is too short to spend it without a smile. Your witty lad will ensure that that doesn't happen - his light hearted and silly ways make everything a little bit brighter.
The Shit List (this cracks me up everytime I read it)

1. Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel shit come out but there is no shit in the toilet.
2. Clean Shit: The kind where you shit it out, see it, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
3. Wet Shit: The kind where you wipe your butt at least 90 times and it feels unwiped so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin your pants.
4. Second Wave Shit: It happens when you're done shitting and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize you have to shit some more.
5. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Head Shit: The kind where you strain so much to get the shit out you practically have a stroke.
6. Richard Simmons Shit: You shit so much you lose 30 pounds.
7. Lincoln Log Shit: The kind of shit that is so huge that you are afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
8. Gassy Shit: It's noisy; everyone within earshot is giggling.
9. Drinker Shit: The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread marks on the bottom of the toilet.
10. Corn Shit: Self-explanatory.
11. Gee I Wish I Could Shit Shit: It's the kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped, and fart a few times.
12. Spinal Tap Shit: That's where it hurts so bad coming out you'd swear it was leaving sideways.
13. Wet Cheeks Shit (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your rear end so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
14. Liquid Shit: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
15. Mexican Food Shit: It smells so bad the room must be condemned.
16. Upperclass Shit: The kind of shit that doesn't smell.
17. Fisherman's Bobber Shit: That's the kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall; you shit and flush two times but several golf ball size pieces are still floating above the water line.
18. Ambush Shit: This kind never occurs at home but usually at a party or while playing golf. It is the result of trying to fart just a little, but you end up with trouser chili and you walk bow-legged for the rest of the day.
19. Santa Clause Shit: A shit that is so big, you have no idea how it made it down the drain after flushing.
20. Stalactite Shit: A shit that gets stuck and hangs from your butt for a moment.
21. Deja Vu Shit: When you could swear you've taken the exact same shit before.
22. Five Alarm Shit: Your asshole burns so bad you think it's on fire. Usually after eating really spicy chili or other spicy food.
23. False Alarm Shit: After a really big fart you think you might have shit yourself, but you didn't.
24. Titanic Shit: The tip of the shit is visible above the water line.
25. Rainbow Shit: The kind of shit that is at least 7 different colors.
26. Gangster Shit: A shit that sounds like an automatic weapon is being fired in the toilet.
27. Gold Medal Shit: A shit you work so hard to get out that you just have to tell a friend about it.
Wow!

Another weekend is just around the corner. I'm soooooooo glad. last weekend was good. Went shopping on saturday. Sunday was good too. It was my uncle's birthday and we had a small party. there was so much food - all sorts. i guess that was the best part of it. lol. i invited some of my friends. i dint know it was going to be that nice, i would have invite more. had fun anyway, then we went out afterwards.

On Monday it was back to work. I have a situation I'm trying to deal with at work, more about it later. Saw The Devil Wears Prada - nice movie.

Have to get back to work now. by the way, i got into a bus today and the conductor had u-know-what running down his nose. it was sooooo gross. the colour of the thing was a shade of yellow i havn't seen before. i dont even want to tell u how thick it was. ewwwwwww!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

J-O-B

It's been a while so i guess u don't know i have a new job. started last month. so far so good.
People here a ok, except for one or two grouchy people.
still miss my former office and they miss me too.
have to get some work done now.

silence...........
Long Time!

Hello there! I know I abandoned this project almost as soon as I started.
I'm back and I promise to try my very best to keep it as up date as I can.

Stay 'tuned'........